Tension's high, insomnia and Issues

Phew.. The tension's getting high. I'm done with all the requirements and I'm also done with the filing for the upcoming board exam. Honestly, I am not that prepared, I so wanted to back out and kick my butt off during the intensive review but my friends as well as my family wanted me to really pursue with it, they said "Nobody is prepared for it". Nah, I don't think so. I mean, not prepared in the sense that I feel like I had amnesia, I forgot everything. I wanted to read but then I just can't concentrate 'coz actually I really don't know where to start. GRRR... And board exam is fast approaching. Now, I feel so uneasy and uncomfortable. Well, to make it worst, I've been thinking a lot about the expectations of my family (because they believe I can do it), my friends (2 of my girl friends passed already and became a nurse), my boyfriend (who totally believes in my capability and intelligence), his parents (expected too much from me), my classmates (they always say that we really have to pass and that we will all pass. ) Oh common! I will surely give my best of the best, pushing my best luck and praying for the LORD'S guidance.

OK. The issue here is that, I wanted to become a nurse. I admit, nursing wasn't really my choice of course but then as time goes by (during my college years); with all the hardworks, sleepless nights, extensions and the never ending requirements, I can say that I have to pass the board exam and that I have to become a NURSE! I have to pursue and achieve this dreams, and that's the time I tend to love nursing. Hopefully, nursing loves me too.. Hihihihi.. LOL...

Now, for 1 month, I'll be away for a meantime in this worldy world. We will be having our in-house (our intensive review) and we will be in a seminary where there is no cellphone, no line of communication in the outside world, no calls, no text, no visitors, visiting time is scheduled and most of all no internet and that would mean no new post for the whole month of November.

Anyways, I did scan some of the reviewers that I borrowed from my classmates who just recently passed the June board exam but then again, I lacked focused because my time is totally divided. I have to spend time with my boyfriend because I'll be away for 1 month and I will surely miss the important events in our relationship, our 1 year anniversary and his birthday, so that is why, while I'm still here in this free world, I have to spend maximum time with him 'coz we will be away for the meantime. And so, my free time has been used, instead of studying, I am focused on him. Aside from that, I can only read every weekend because it is my schedule to watch our store. I can only scan for a few hours, and then watch tv and scan again and again and again. I tried to take down only the important keypoints to keep me track from the lessons that I have read already.

Now what? Don't know. It's really late and I'm still wide awake. I can't sleep because I had my period and my head is tooootally aching and insomnia is killing me. I'm just consuming my time surfing the net to make me feel sleepy. Duh!

So, that's it. Actually, somethings bothering me but I just can't clear this mess up. My head is pre-occupied with a lot of things and issues that I have to deal on, it's like my mind is about to explode!! But nah, I won't allow myself to stress too much on issues that aren't worth to deal on. It's just a big waste of time.

I guess, I have to end up here. I'm talking too much and now good at least, I'm a bit relaxed already. :) I was able to express what I wanted to say, though not all but at least I was able to loosen up. So, until here.. 'Till then 'coz time is ticking fast. Got to go!! Au revoir!

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