Sick

I was looking for a quote that would somehow brighten my gloomy Tuesday and as I checked my twitter I saw this quote "New day! Be thankful. Continue to have faith and everything else will fall into place. Go forward, and glory to God!". It made me realize a lot of things. Despite all the trials and frustrations that I'm facing right now, GOD tells me that I should be thankful, that with GOD + prayers = everything will fall into place, by GOD's perfect time. Lately, I've been thinking a lot of stuff.

First, I miss home. I can only imagine how my life would turn out if I wasn't here. I would have been enjoying life in Cebu right at this very moment, with my family, dogs and friends. I'm totally homesick. There's no place like home, I miss my room, the never ending internet connection at home, the sumptuous and mouth watering food, my Hello Kitty stuff, I miss hanging out with friends and I miss everything. This August 30th will be our first year here in Manila and time flies so fast. This is my 2nd birthday without spending it with my family. So sad... 23rd birthday alone or with Mingming. Maybe this is really independent life is all about, being alone and I guess I have to get used to with that.

Second, work. I admit, I am very contented with my work right now. It's not that stressful and it's like a regular day job, I even have more time for fun stuff and shopping (that is if I have extra money). I am happy that I got a raise. Out of 13, only 3 got an increase and I am of one them. But you see, I had a salary increase because I worked hard, I earned that one and because I take full responsibility with extra care of my responsibilities but what frustrates me is that I should have been given a chance, but what happened is that I remained stagnant. I should have been promoted, my stats are in good shape, my QA is above average, I don't have any center track, no absences (I had 2 sick leave but I am entitled for that - I just don't feel well at that time) and the only fault here is my tardiness. Of course, I tried so hard not to be late, but the jeepneys and taxi's seldom passes in our street that is why no matter how early I leave but sad to say it takes time to wait for a cab or a jeepney. But my tardiness doesn't always happen everyday. Am I not worth to be promoted? I'm not mad at my manager for not choosing me, I'm just so frustrated 'coz I wasn't given a chance. I already made plans for myself that I have to do something for myself, I don't want to be an agent forever, I have to move to another level, climb to another ladder of success but that was taken away from me. What else can I do? After going through a lot of decision making, I finally decided to move on. I'll just wait till next year and I'll be resigning, and maybe that would be final. Nothing will happen if I won't move on. So, that's it, since my worth here is unnoticed, then why stay? I am happy with my team, with my work but I don't want my life to stop right here, to just do nothing. I have to move on..

Anyways, I am so excited for my Singapore trip with my mom and my sister. I just can't wait for our trip, I'll make sure to make the most out of it. I'll have all the time in the world. I just can't wait to unwind, break free and have fun. This is one heck of a vacation I don't want to miss. I miss travelling, I am very passionate when it comes to travelling. If only I can tour around the world and if only I have lots of money then I would definitely be travelling nonstop. Ain't that fun? :)

I am so hurt. I just don't know why I'm feeling this way. i can't think straight. But one thing's for sure, I just can't wait for this day to end..

I miss CEBU... :(