Why hold on when you can actually let go?

The dilemma here is that whose heart is holding on? And whose heart is letting go? As far as I know, I'm not holding on, but I'm letting go.. Things will never be the same again. Though it takes time and it takes a lot of practice to get used to it.

Mingming and Boink Boink's 30th Monthsary

" HAPPY 30TH MONTHSARY MY MINGMING"

Dear mingming,

I know we've been through good times and bad times, we've been through thick and thin but somehow, thank GOD, we're still going strong. Looking back, our first year together, we really had a tough time, not to mention, we argue everyday, our ideas and opinions clashed from time to time, and time was a hindrance to us. But no matter how tough our first year was, we were able to survive and now, 2 years and 6 months our relationship is still in a roller coaster ride but at least, unlike before, we now seldom argue and my 16 hours of my life is spent with you, time is no longer an issue.

Can't wait to be with you. See you later.. Take care.

I Love You so much my mingming .. :)

Always & Forever

Pre-occupied mind

One fine dim afternoon, while trying to keep myself busy while the rest of my colleagues are sleeping, I was browsing the net to surf 'coz I've been fed up with all the Facebook games, so I decided to just blog about something, nothing in particular but anything that would break the silence of my silly mind. And when I opened my blog, Alexa's blog struck me. I dropped by her site and take a sneak peek about her latest fashion blog. I can say that she's really talented and fabulous, her vintage style is perfectly amazing. While reading her blog, she made a list of her fave fashion sites and it made me realize, there are hundreds and thousands of beautiful girls that are extremely fashionable. While browsing, I can't help but adore their fashion sense. I am so amaze 'coz I'm not really that daring enough to examine outfits that I'm not sure if I'll look good wearing this and that. So, there I was moving from one page to another, from one blog to another blog, skip this and that, and finally I felt dizzy and had enough of all the fashion world, I closed everything and the next thing I knew, I'm here blogging about their stuff.

Anyways, moving on, two of my teams are talking about this girl, who has a cup size of 36J. I came to realize is there such thing as 36J? Oh my, that is humongous. I never thought that would even exist, 'coz as far as I know, it's only up to E not J. But WOW, really? 36J? No comment, I'd rather see than to believe. :)

Oh I remember, just last night, I cried for no reason at all. All I could remember, I kept on saying to Mingming my worries, fears and frustrations, but then, it came to a point wherein he got tired of listening 'coz almost everyday (but not really everyday, I guess from time to time only), I kept on telling him those stuff, and he said, how can I move on with the future if I kept on dwelling with my past? It's history but sorry, I just can't help but talk about it. So I cried, 'coz I felt rejected, 'coz he's not listening. There are times when I wanted to talk and he would just listen, but then what happened last night, while I do the talk, he came to butt in and that's it, I felt rejected, I felt that he's not concerned about my worries. I admit I kept on repeating about it over and over again but I honestly can't help it. So there, I cried. I was HURT. I was totally HURT. :( I then told him that he needs to be sensitive to my feelings, I may be telling the same HURT over and over again but its my own way of coping. It's where I am comfortable with, my own defense mechanism. And instead of listening, he was pushing me away. ***sniff** ** (sigh)

That's it. Those are some of the stuff that's been bugging me lately. My mind is still pre-occupied with a lot of things. How can I lessen all of these? I just can't seem to understand myself. All I know is that I'm hurt, betrayed and lost.. I just don't know what to do.. Just want to pour out everything that I'm feeling right at this very moment.

Till here, I guess. Till the next blog. Au revoir!!