Pre-occupied mind

One fine dim afternoon, while trying to keep myself busy while the rest of my colleagues are sleeping, I was browsing the net to surf 'coz I've been fed up with all the Facebook games, so I decided to just blog about something, nothing in particular but anything that would break the silence of my silly mind. And when I opened my blog, Alexa's blog struck me. I dropped by her site and take a sneak peek about her latest fashion blog. I can say that she's really talented and fabulous, her vintage style is perfectly amazing. While reading her blog, she made a list of her fave fashion sites and it made me realize, there are hundreds and thousands of beautiful girls that are extremely fashionable. While browsing, I can't help but adore their fashion sense. I am so amaze 'coz I'm not really that daring enough to examine outfits that I'm not sure if I'll look good wearing this and that. So, there I was moving from one page to another, from one blog to another blog, skip this and that, and finally I felt dizzy and had enough of all the fashion world, I closed everything and the next thing I knew, I'm here blogging about their stuff.
Anyways, moving on, two of my teams are talking about this girl, who has a cup size of 36J. I came to realize is there such thing as 36J? Oh my, that is humongous. I never thought that would even exist, 'coz as far as I know, it's only up to E not J. But WOW, really? 36J? No comment, I'd rather see than to believe. :)
Oh I remember, just last night, I cried for no reason at all. All I could remember, I kept on saying to Mingming my worries, fears and frustrations, but then, it came to a point wherein he got tired of listening 'coz almost everyday (but not really everyday, I guess from time to time only), I kept on telling him those stuff, and he said, how can I move on with the future if I kept on dwelling with my past? It's history but sorry, I just can't help but talk about it. So I cried, 'coz I felt rejected, 'coz he's not listening. There are times when I wanted to talk and he would just listen, but then what happened last night, while I do the talk, he came to butt in and that's it, I felt rejected, I felt that he's not concerned about my worries. I admit I kept on repeating about it over and over again but I honestly can't help it. So there, I cried. I was HURT. I was totally HURT. :( I then told him that he needs to be sensitive to my feelings, I may be telling the same HURT over and over again but its my own way of coping. It's where I am comfortable with, my own defense mechanism. And instead of listening, he was pushing me away. ***sniff** ** (sigh)
That's it. Those are some of the stuff that's been bugging me lately. My mind is still pre-occupied with a lot of things. How can I lessen all of these? I just can't seem to understand myself. All I know is that I'm hurt, betrayed and lost.. I just don't know what to do.. Just want to pour out everything that I'm feeling right at this very moment.
Till here, I guess. Till the next blog. Au revoir!!

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