not a good start

Suppose to be today was the new start of my life. New year and new life already but still seems like I'm back of being the worst person ever. I'm now more of the lazy, the stubborn and the I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-my-life-right-now mode. You see, I planned to change my life for the best, not only settle for better but aim for the best, But sad to say, I woke up this late afternoon, still feeling sleepy, wasn't able to finish cleaning my room, had an argument and broken promise to my boyfriend which eventually resulted to fight and now, here I am, stuck in this blog, back as to the branded "ME"(period).

Now, he's still mad at me for not comin' and breaking my promises. Not a single text ever came and I don't know how he is right now. But, really, I am very much worried. As much as I want to communicate with him, but my pride tells me not to. Stupid pride. I just couldn't swallow it for the moment, 'coz I might be choke up. I realize, maybe he needs time. Maybe I should communicate with him later. Just don't want to end the day with unresolved conflicts. Hai.. It's really my fault. I know.. T_T and I admit.. But right now, I just couldn't think of the right way to patch things up. I don't know how to get away with it. T_T

Now, new year, new conflicts has brought me. It's not what I wanted to happen. I so wanted to change really. But he thinks that I will never change. Well, one thing that came in my mind, prove to him that he was wrong. That I am capable of change. I can change myself for the better. Hopefully, tomorrow, it will turn out good. Just want to put things in order.

I guess, I have to end up here. Got nothing more to say. I'm running out of words and my mind is very pre-occupied with a lot of things especially him. T_T hope to hear from him soon..

XOXO..